[Filter: Private]
Well, now that I have the time to think ...
It is hard to think of where our future lies. We arrive in Forna, and what then? Live in the ruins? Could it even support everyone who settles there? I've heard that it's just mangled forest and crumbling rock, ever since House Forna fell. How can we even live there? But according to the rumours, Forna will be our saviour. There is something poetic about it, fallen Houses seeking shelter in the remains of one of the greatest Houses to have been ruined. We don't have anywhere else to go.
Fallen House Viernan. Is that even true? We've lost our land, we've deserted our castle, but we simply left. No one has forced us out with threats or violence, but that does not change that we're dispossessed. I doubt Lian or Linnell have even thought about that, with Lian trying to gain Father's good favour again, and Linnell flirting with that Bufula boy. If I'm not Lady Lissandra of House Veirnan, then what place is there for me? I do not want to be like other homeless scions, drifting from ally to ally for refuge and gold and armies. I do not want to have my hand offered in exchange for an alliance. Every time I've read and been taught the history of this broken country, with the rise and fall of every House that sought to rule over all others, I've thought to myself: that won't be me. I won't live in such indignity. I was naive to think that my future could be so certain.
The villagers, the ones who lived on our lands, still call me Lady Lissandra, even though I'm not sure I will ever rule them. They are beginning to look to me when Father looks uncertain and Edeyn elsewhere. They are even beginning to listen. Not so long ago, they entertained me. They thought I was still a child. I've had to grow up.